Permission to Play
What my kids keep teaching me about nature
One last beach day
It’s mid morning and we are on our last full day on the beautiful island of Hawaii before flying home. Over the past week and a half, our days have been full of hiking, swimming, exploring, adventuring, and time together as a family. We have been on the go as much as traveling with young kids lets you be on the go. Our days are divided into morning and afternoon activities. In traveling with young kids, I keep my fingers crossed for a hopeful nap for the kids as we move throughout the day. It doesn’t always (read:often), work out.
On this last day, we only had one real thing that we wanted to do. Enjoy a day at the beach.
Trying to find a toddler friendly beach on the Big Island is not as easy for as many beaches as there are on the island. After lots of searching through blogs and google satellite searches, we settled on Spencer beach. It met our criteria. A place we hadn’t been to, sandy, free from large waves, with nearby parking, and restrooms.
There’s only a handful of other families at the beach, sitting under the shade of some coastal trees, at picnic tables. The weather is inviting. Clear skies, low 70s for the morning, an occasional gust from the trade winds coming from the mountain side. The air is filled with the rhythmic sound of the waves as it washes onto the shore. Woosh. Woosh, like the ocean’s own exhale. The sand is cool and soft. The weight of my feet sink lightly with each step.
We set our bags on some picnic tables just in front of the knobby and twisty horizontal trunk of a large tree. We emptied out the mesh bag of beach toys provided by our AirBnb host. Shovels, buckets, sandcastle molds, sand rollers. The kids make their way towards the water, ready to get their toes wet.
We sit right where the waves end and the dry sand starts and begin digging to fill our sand toys. Over the course of our trip, my daughter has been practicing building her sandcastles, experimenting to determine the right mix of sand and ocean water to keep it firm enough to hold its shape. And my son, he simply enjoys filling buckets with his shovel and watching the sand pour out.
I joined them in the play, scooping wet sand into each bucket with my hands, compacting down the sand into its mold. Then, it was the art of the flip. Turning the bucket just fast enough so that sand doesn’t fall out. A few taps to make sure that sand separates from all the curves and angles of the form. A gentle wiggle, removing the mold and finally seeing what creation was made.
Presence in play
I don’t remember the last time I built a sandcastle. I don’t remember the last time I played in the sand.
As I dug my hands into the wet sand to fill the first mold, I immediately started imagining the castle that I would build. Towers on the corners, a robust castle wall, a moat for when the waves reach just a little further. There has to be a moat. Digging my hand into the sand brought back memories from my childhood.
We tried to find the perfect balance of water and sand to keep up a wall and create its shape. We found twigs and leaves to make flags and kept rebuilding our moat with each wave that came through.
My kids got excited when the moat filled with water and we all scrambled to protect our castle. After enough waves washed away our castle walls, we rinsed off in the ocean and waded in along the shallow shore.
I wasn’t thinking about the sand that was in everyone’s hair, wondering about whether my postpartum mom bod in a bathing suit was appropriate for the beach, or whether too much time had passed to reapply sunscreen on everyone.
At that moment, playing in the sand, swimming in the ocean, and playing with my kids, none of it mattered. Only that it was fun.
I was having fun.
Living lighter
We’ve been to beaches many times before but the sandcastles are new for me. Sometimes the beaches are rocky, sometimes the water is cold, and I’m pretty sure the last time my daughter built sandcastles, I was still babywearing my son.
I aim to bring my kids outside as much as I can, not only because I know that it’s actually good for them but because I need it too. Outside, they play more, move more, create more, and ask more questions. I’m not fighting the screen battle because it’s just not there. For me, outside helps me feel more relaxed, get some fresh air, and clear my mind.
Perhaps it’s my underlying anxiety or neuroticism. Perhaps it’s just being a mom. But there’s often a part of me that’s thinking about whether our belongings were safe, that the children were within eyesight and arms reach, that everyone was hydrated, and that there were enough snacks to go around. And in all this, there are times that I forget.
Life can sometimes become too serious, full of overthinking, full of worry, full of responsibility. Did I pack extra bandaids? What time do we need to leave before it gets too hot? Will my son be tired enough to take a nap? As I plan and work on facilitating moments of joy and play in my kids and family, too much grown up stuff causes me to forget to find the moments of joy and play in myself.
Fortunately, play is easier in nature.
In nature, stressors fade away more easily, presence is more accessible, and life can feel lighter without needing anything extra from me. I let the dappling sunlight, the feeling of the wind, or the sounds of birds remind me.
Watching my kids play in nature reminds me to play too. Building a fairy garden. Balancing on a log. Skipping rocks. Kids will often mirror what they see around them. The activities, the energy, the intentions. When they see me having fun in nature, they learn too that nature is fun for them. It doesn’t have to be extreme or complicated.
When I see them having fun, I am reminded that this is exactly where we should be.
Invite a little play
The next time you’re on a nature adventure, whether it’s a family hike, a trip to the playground, or opening up a playmat to lay in the backyard, exhale a little and don’t forget to invite a little play.
Who can find the biggest pinecone? How many rocks can you balance on one another? Who’s the best at sneaking up on one another?
Forgotten what play feels like? Let your kids lead and follow along with them.
Let nature be the space for reflective walks and wonder, the space for relaxation and joy, the space for sunshine and muddiness.
At the end of the day, the dirt under the nails, the extra change of clothes, and dare I say, not having enough snacks. It probably doesn’t matter.
See you outside,
Hannah
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This upcoming week also marks the beginning of The Nature Dispatch Club, a monthly practice for families looking to spend more time outside, connecting with each other, and connecting with the natural world. Be sure to subscribe to get started.
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Thank you for being here. 🌿